PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA –
North Korean sources confirmed Tuesday night that Kim Jong Un has shattered all of baseball’s previously held pitching records, as The Great Leader unleashed a scorching 275 mph fastball while throwing out the first pitch during the North Korean Super Celebrity All-Star baseball game in Pyongyang last night.
“The Supreme Commander has yet again shown the world how great he is,” said Vice Chairman of Policy Bureau Choe Ryong-hae. “He has without question proven his impressive ability, and it is certain that one will ever overcome The Beloved and Respected General’s unmatched achievement, or his marvelous physique,” he continued. “He is invincible.”
At press time, The Supreme Leader had reportedly subbed into to the lineup during the 5th inning, proceeding to pitch a perfect game while hitting 17 consecutive grand-slams, all of which (according to eye witnesses) travelled upwards of 900 feet.